我全部发来
四个女同学天天一起坐出租车去学校。
一天，他们其中一位说，“今天早晨有场考试，我们一起迟到。到时候我们就不用考了。”
“我们怎样对老师解释？”另一位说，“他会非常生气。我们需要一个好的理由。”
她们想了一会，其中一位说，“我们告诉他，我们的出租车有一个轮胎漏气了。”
“那真是个好主意，”其他几位说。“我们就告诉他这个。”她们迟到了一小时。考试已经结束。
“为什么你们迟到？”老师问“你们错过了考试！”
“我们的出租车有一个轮胎漏气了！”一位女同学说。
老师想了一会，说，“坐下，每人到各自的一个角落”
四个女同学按要求坐好。
老师说，“把这个问题的答案写在一张纸上：四个轮子中，哪个漏气了？”
有一个居住在公路附近的农夫，那儿有一条繁忙的路，时常有汽车通过,那里总是有一个充满水的洞,并且司机不能看出洞有多么深，他们认为大概是浅的，然后当他们驾驶进洞，他们不能驾驶出来，因为它是那么的深，因此农夫花费很多时间拔出汽车。从事它农夫花费了大多数时间观看洞而不是他的农场。 当汽车驶入了洞他用他的拖拉机拔出汽车并向司机收很多金钱。 驱动说对他您必须挣很多金钱拉扯汽车在这孔夜外面并且天在农夫说的l 整夜不拉扯汽车在孔外面在晚上l 积土孔用水
The new doctor年轻的医生
一个老人去医院看病,给他诊断的是一个非常年轻的医生,非常年轻. "医生,我觉得不舒服"老人说"请给我检查一下我生什么病了" "把衣服脱了,然后躺床上去"年轻的医生说"我要给你做个检查" 老人脱了衣服后在床上躺下了,年轻的医开始给他做检查.但是他没发现老人的身体有任何异常. 他听了老人的心跳?看他的喉咙?他给老人做了全身的检查. 最后他说"对不起,老人家,我没有看出你身体上有任何的毛病,你很健康,像个年轻人那样健康." "那太奇怪了,"老人说"我感觉非常的不舒服" "如果您还是觉得不舒服的话,就麻烦您明天再过来一趟"年轻的医生说"我再给您做一次检查" 好的,医生"老人回答 老人慢慢的站起来穿上衣服,然后走出了诊断室? 几秒钟以后,医生的护士跑了进来"医生!医生"她喊着"刚才您检查的那个老人刚刚猝死在医院门口了! 医生想了一下说"那把他的尸体倒转过来,让人家以为他是在来医院的路上"
A Cheap Meal一顿便宜的饭
A man went into a restaurant andsat down at one of the table. A waiter went up to him and gave him the menu. 一个男人走进了一家饭馆,坐在了其中一个桌子前,服务员走上前给他看菜单.
The man read it careflly,then ordered alllthe most expensive dishes. The waiter served themeal and the man ate it with great enjoyment. 这位男士看得很仔细(carefully打错了),然后按顺序看了所有最贵的菜.服务员为他提供了这些菜,这个男人吃得很香.
Then a small boycame into the restaurant and sat the man's table. 然后一个小男孩走进饭馆坐在了这个男人的桌前.
The waiter came up and said to the man,"What would your little boy like,sir?" 这位服务员走过来对男人说:"你的小孩喜欢什么呢,先生?"
"Oh,just an ice-ccream."the man told him .then he stoodup and said to the waiter,"I'm just going out to buy a newspaper. "噢,一个冰淇淋."男人告诉他,然后他站起来对服务员说:"我要出去买一份报纸."
He left the restaurant.The waiter gave the boy an ice-ccream.The boy ate it,and then stood up and walked to the door. 他离开了饭馆.服务员给了小男孩一个冰淇淋,这个男孩吃了它,然后站起来向门口走.
The waiter ran towards him. 服务员赶上了他.
"Excuse me"he said,"But your father hasn't come back wath me." "对不起,"他说,"你的爸爸还没有回来给我买单."
"Oh,yes,it does."the waiter said."You'll stay here until your father comes bank and pays his bill." "噢,是的."服务员说:"你要在这等你爸爸,直到他去银行付完钱为止."
"He's not my father."the boy said."I don't know who he is." "他不是我的爸爸."男孩说,"我不知道他是谁."
The waiter did not understand."What do you mean?"he asked. 服务员不明白，"你是什么意思?"他问.
"The man came up to me in the steet."the boy said."He asked meif I liked ice-cream.I told him I did.Then he told me to come into the restaurant at 2 o'clock and sit down at his table.He said he'd give me some." "这个男人在街上找到我,"男孩说,"他问我喜不喜欢冰淇淋，我说我喜欢,然后他告诉我2点来这个饭馆,坐在他的桌前,他说他会给我一些."
Not a Small Problem这不是个小问题。
Mr. Guppy was a very large man. He a loud voice and a bad temper. He was not a giant, but he was much bigger than most men. Mr. Guppy 是一个体型庞大的人。他有一副响亮的声音和一个火爆的脾气。虽然他不是个巨人但他的体型要比一般人庞大很多。
Life was not easy for Mr. Guppy. He could seldom find clothes big enough. His feet were too large for most shoes. 生活对Mr. Guppy 来说并不简单。他买不到自己能穿上足够大的衣服和鞋子。
In buses, trains and planes. He could not stand up straight. The roofs were too low. 在公车、火车和飞机上。他不能直立因为那的顶太低了。
In cars he could not move his legs. There was not enough room.. At home, his bed was too short. Chairs were always too small. 在车里，他不能挪动自己的腿，因为车里没有足够的空间。在他的家里，床和椅子对于他来说都太小了。
In fact, wherever he went and whatever he did, Mr. Guppy had problems because of his size. 事实上，无论何时、无论他他做什么，都会因为他的体型而产生问题。These problems were so bad that Mr. Guppy stayed at home most of the time. Life was easier at home. 这些问题导致了他大部分时间都会呆在家里。因为对于他来说，家里的生活更容易些。
Then one day, a friend said, “You spend too much time at home. You should go out more. There` s a good movie at the theater.” 接下来的某一天，一个朋友对他说：“你呆在家里的时间太长了，你应该多去外边走走，今天剧院里有一场很好的电影。”
“I can't sit in theater seats,” Mr. Guppy said. “I` m too big.” “我坐不上剧院的椅子”Mr. Guppy 回答说“我太胖了。”
“That is no problem,” his friend said.” “I'll buy you two tickets. You can get them at the theater when you go.” “这不是问题，”朋友继续说：“我会给你买两张票，你去的时候可以在剧院那拿到票”。
The friend sent money. To the theater for two tickets. When the day came, Mr. Guppy put on his best clothes and went to the theater. 朋友把钱打给剧院然后预定了2张票。终于电影播出的这天来了，Mr. Guppy 穿上他最好的衣服去了剧院。
“You have two tickets for me,” he said to woman in the ticket office.” My name is Guppy.” “这有我的两张票。”他对剧院的售票员说，“我的名字叫Guppy。”
“Oh, yes, Mr. Guppy,” the woman said.” Here you are seats G4 and P12. l` m sorry, you and your friend can` t sit together because we are very full this evening.” “哦 ，是的，Mr. Guppy ”售票员说，“这里有您的两张票G4和P12，实在对不起，您和您的朋友不能坐在一起了，因为我们剧院今天晚上人实在是太满了。”
Poor, Mr. Guppy. He smiled sadly, walked out of the theater and went home.不幸的Guppy。他苦笑着走出了剧院向家的方向走去。
The package包裹
One morning a mailman walked up to a house.He rang the bell. 一天上午邮递员走到一所房子门前，他敲响了钟。
A few seconds later a window of the house opened,and a woman put her head out. 几秒钟后，一个窗口打开，一名女子，把她的头伸出来。
"What is it ?"she wanted to know. “这是什么？ ”她想知道。
I've got a package for Mrs.Smith,"the mailman said. “这是smith夫人的包裹 ， “邮递员说。
"Is it registered?"the woman asked. “注册了吗？ ”该名女子问。
"Yes,"the mailman sai. “是的， ”邮递员说。
"Is it a big package or a small package?"the woman wanted to know next. “是一大包或一小包装” ？该名女子想知道。
"It's quite a big package."the mailman told her. “这是相当大的包。 ”邮递员告诉她。
"I see." “我看到了” 。
The woman thought for a minute,then she said,"Who is it from?" 该名女子的思考一分钟，然后她说， “它从哪里来的” ？
The mailman looked at the return address on the back of the package. 该邮递员看回邮地址在他的背部。
"It's from Jones andJones in London,"he said. “这是从琼斯在伦敦， ”他说。
Now the woman was very interested."From Jones and Jones,eh?"she said."That's a very expensive shop.What's in the package?" 现在，该名女子非常感兴趣。 “从琼斯，嗯？ ”她说： “这是一个非常昂贵的商店。在包装里面有什么” ？
"Madam,"the mailman said,becoming quite angry with the woman,"I don't know.Why don't you come down and take the package from me.Then you can open it and find out." “小姐， ”邮递员说，相当愤怒，与该名女子， “ 我不知道，你为什么不下来取走它，这样你就可以打开它了”。
"Oh,i can't do that,"the woman said. “哦，我不能做到这一点， ”该名女子说。
"Why not?"the mailman said. “为什么不呢？ ”该邮递员说。
"Because I'm not Mrs.Smith,"she said."You've come to the wrong house.Mrs.Smith lives next door. “因为我不是smith夫人 ， ”她说： “您来错了smith夫人生活在隔壁。
A sad story一个可悲的故事
Jim met two friends in the street. “Come back to my apartment for a meal，”he said
"ou can see the whole of the city from my bedroom window.” 吉姆会见了两位朋友在街上。 “回来我的公寓，吃一顿饭，”他说： “其他指定用途可以看到，整个城市从我的卧室窗口” 。
His two friends agreed and they went back with Jim to the apartment building where he
lived on the 40th floor. 他的两位朋友，同意和他们回去与Jim向公寓大楼，他住在40楼。
When they arrived ,however ,the elevator was out of order.”I'm sorry, ”Jim said , 当他们抵达，不过，电梯是不合乎规程。 “我很抱歉， ”吉姆说，
”we'll have to walk.” “我们将要步行” 。
”but it's forty floors!” thay said. “但它的40层” ！ 他们说。
”we'll talk as we climb ,”Jim said.” You can tell me the new jokes you've heard “我们会继续谈，因为我们攀登， ”吉姆说， “你能告诉我新的笑话你听说过
and when we get to my apartment i'll tell you a story .” His friends agree and they
started to climb the forty flights of stairs.At last they reached the top floor and were
standing outside the door of Jim's apartment. 当我们到我的公寓，我告诉你一个故事， “他的朋友，同意和他们开始攀登40航班stairs.at最后，他们达成的顶层，并站在门外的吉姆的公寓。
”Now tell us a good story, ”his friends said. “现在，请告诉我们一个好故事， ”他的朋友说。
Jim looked at them sadly and said , ”once upon a time there was a man who met two friends. 吉姆看他们可悲的，并说， “一次，有一名男子谁见了两个朋友。
He invited them to his apartment on the fortieth floor. The elevator wasn't working and
they had to climb forty flights of stairs. When they reached the fortieth floor he put
his had in his pocket for the key to the door of his apartment. It wasn't there . Then he
remembered where it was . it was in his car .” 他邀请他们在他的公寓就第四十楼。电梯是没有工作和他们不得不爬上40航班的楼梯。当他们到达第四十楼，他提出他曾在他的口袋为关键的大门，他的公寓。这是不在那里。然后他记住，而它在该处。这是在他的汽车“ 。
The Best Salesman in World世界上最好的推销员
Harry saw an ad in a window. It said: "Wanted. The Best Salesman in the world .Top Pay." 哈利在橱窗上看到一则广告，上面写着： “ 招人，世界上最好的推销员，高薪 ”
"I'm a great salesman," Harry told himself . "I can sell anything. I'll go in and ask for that job." “我就是个不错的推销员”哈利心里想着“我能卖掉任何东西，我要进去请求这份工作”
He went into the building and spoke to the manager. "I'm the best salesman in the world," he said. "Give me the job." 他走进商店并对经理说“我是世界上最好的推销员”， 他说“给我这份工作吧”
"You must prove you're the best," the manager said. “你必须证明你是最好的”经理说。
"I'll pass every test you give me," Harry told him. “我会通过你给我的所有测试”哈利对他说。
"Good." “好的”
The manager took a box of candy out of his desk. 经理从他的桌子里拿出一盒糖。
"Last week, I bought a thousand boxs of this candy. "If you can sell them all before the end of the end of the week, you can have the job." “上礼拜我买了一千盒糖，如果你能在这礼拜之内把它们都卖掉，我就给你这份工作”
"That's easy," Harry said. “很简单”哈利说。
He took the box of candy and left the office. 他拿着这盒糖离开了办公室。
Every day and all day, he went from shop to shop, trying to sell boxes of the candy.
He could't sell one. 哈利每天并且一整天都忙着从一家店跑到另一家，试着卖糖，可是一盒都没卖掉。
The candy was so bad he could't even give it away.糖是那么的低劣，他甚至不能把它送人。At the end of the week he went back to the manager. "I'm sorry, sir,"he said. "Iwas wrong about myself. I'm not the best salesman in the world, but I know who is." 到了周末，他回到经理那，“很抱歉，先生”他说“我看错自己了。我不是世界上最好的推销员，但是我知道谁是”
"Oh," said the manager. "Who?" “哦”经理说“是谁啊”
"The person who sold you athousand boxes of this candy," Harry said. “那个把一千盒糖卖给你的人”哈利说。 Your Need is Greater Than Mine你比我更需要
In many big cities there are people who cannot get work.Sometimes they do not want to work, but sometimes there isn’t any work for them to do. 在很多大城市都有人没有工作。有时是他们不想工作，但有时他们是根本没有工作可做。
Some of these people beg for money. Some of them sell boxes of matches or cheap pens, and some of them sell flowers. 这些人中有的讨钱，有的卖火柴或者廉价的钢笔，而有的则卖花。
Andrew Chen never gave money to beggars. “People should work for money,” he believed. He also believed there was work for everyone, which was not true. 陈安鲁从来不给乞丐钱。他认为，人应该工作赚钱。他还错误地认为，每个人都是会有工作的。
One day when he waiting for a bus, a beggar came up and asked him for money. The beggar was an old woman wearing very old and dirty clothes. She had no shoes and she was selling some sweet-smelling flowers. 有一天，他正在等公车，一个乞丐走上前来，向他讨钱。这个乞丐是一个老妇人，穿着一件又旧又脏的衣服，没穿鞋。她卖的花气味芳香。
“Give an old woman ten dollars, mister,” she said to Andrew. “I haven’t had a meal for three days.” “给我十美元吧，先生。”她向陈安鲁恳求道，“我已经三天没吃饭了。”
“I’m not giving you ten dollars,” Andrew said. “我不会给你十美元的。”陈安鲁道。
“What about five dollars, then, mister,” the poor old woman said. “That’ll buy me a couple of pieces of bread.”
“那么，给五美元呢，先生？”穷苦的老妇人继续恳求，“那够我买两块面包的了。”
“No,” Andrew said. “不给。”陈安鲁拒绝道。
“Then what about one dollar,” the old woman said. “I can buy an orange for one dollar.”
“那么，一美元？”老妇人继续，“一美元我可以买一个橘子啦。”
“I haven’t got one dollar,” Andrew said, “Now go away.”
“我没有一美元，请你走开。”陈安鲁说。
The old looked at him sadly, and then gave him her flowers.
老妇人悲哀地注视着他，然后把她的花都给了陈安鲁。
“Here, mister,” she said. “You have these. You need them more than I do.”
“给你，先生。”老妇人说道：“拿着这些花，你比我更需要它们。”
14
吉儿琼斯在城市的一个与众不同的地段有了一个新的工作，她必须每天坐火车去上班。
在火车中只有两个人,她及一个穿着很好的男人看一份报纸。
经过旅程的一半，突然男人开始将他的报纸撕得粉碎。
做完之后，他坐了下来,闭上了他的眼睛,剩下的旅程他一直在睡觉。第二天，吉儿琼斯进入了相同的火车。 还是那个穿着良好的男人在坐那里 ,看一份报纸。
经过旅程的一半，男人开始将他的报纸撕碎。然后他拾起碎片, 打开了窗户而且把碎片全部扔出去。
做完之后，他坐了下来,关闭了他的眼睛,剩下的旅程他一直在睡觉。
每天就这样，持续发生了一个星期。
最后，在星期五，吉儿琼斯跟男人说话。
"对不起 , 先生 , " 她说 , "我不想你粗鲁无礼，我要问你一个问题。当我们经过我们的旅程一半的时候，你将你的报纸撕碎然后打开窗户把碎片扔出去。请告诉我, 先生，你为什么这样做 ?”
穿着良好的男人微笑。 "我有一个非常简单的理由 , " ，他说。 "我喜欢睡觉来打发旅程的后一半，但是如果火车充满大象，我不能够睡觉。因此我对大象丢出去报纸。它阻止他们进入火车。”
”但是这里没有大象啊”！”她说！
”我知道”，他说，”可见我扔报纸很管用啊！”
参考资料：大脑
温馨提示：答案为网友推荐，仅供参考