关于英语语法有哪些小笑话

Question

如题所述

Answer 1

一位在美的留学生，想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张，看到地上标线是向左转，仍然不放心地问考官：“turn left？”考官答：“right。”于是他立刻向右转。很抱歉他只有下次再来。
　　某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：“I am sorry。”
　　老外应道：“I am sorry too。”
　　某人听后又道：“I am sorry three。”
　　老外不解，问：“Whatareyousorryfor？”
　　某人无奈，道：“I am sorry five。”
　　有个老外到唐山去旅游，住在当地一户农家里。早上起来，看见院子里有只猫，就逗猫玩，这时候这户人家的老太太出来了，就说：“鼓捣猫呢？”老外还以为是问“早上好”，于是就回了一句“Good morning！”
　　到了晚上，老太太看见这老外又在洗衣服，就说：鼓捣衣服呢？老外 赶 紧 又 回 答 一 句 ：“Good evening！”心里那个佩服，中国人厉害，连老太太英语都说得这么好！
　　深夜，老外泡了一杯牛奶，准备喝完睡觉，又被老太太看见了，问老外：“鼓捣奶呢？”老外一听，连“Good night”都会说，彻底晕菜。

Answer 2

英语语法的小笑话？下面不知道算不算呢？仅供参考哦：
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I‘d know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。本回答被网友采纳

Answer 3

A teacher said to her class：
Who was the first man？
George Washington，a little boy shouted promptly．
How do you make out that George Washington was the first man？asked the teacher，smiling indulgently．
Because，said the little boy，he was first in war，first in peace，and first in the hearts of his countrymen．
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand．
Well， said the teacher to him，who do you think was the first man？
I don't know what his name was，said the larger boy，but I know it wasn't George Washington，ma’am，because the history book says George Washington married a widow，so，of course，there must have been a man ahead of him．
有个老师问班上的学生：
谁是第一个男人？
乔治·华盛顿，一个小男孩当即叫道。
你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？老师问道，宽容地微笑着。
小男孩说：因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。
这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。
那么，老师对他说，你认为谁是第一个男人呢？
我不知道他的名字，大点儿的男孩说，但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿娶了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。

A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, What do you do with your older goats in America?
A spry old gentleman answered, They send us on bus tours!
一群美国人乘长途汽车在荷兰旅游。他们在一个奶酪场停下来。一位年轻的导游带他们参观了奶酪制作的全过程，解释说用的是羊奶。
她指给这群人一个美丽的山坡，山坡上许多羊在吃草。对这些，她解释说，是放逐草地的老羊，它们已不能再产奶。她然后问道：在美国你们怎样处理老羊呢？
一位活泼的老绅士回答说：他们让我们乘车旅行！
http://news.iciba.com/1626/
这里有很多
O(∩_∩)O

Answer 4

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。他问:"主啊,一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士”,最后男子请求道:“上帝,一百万年对你而言是什麽?"上帝回答:"一第二”,最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?“神说:“第二”